Tales of a young Journalist

Brooke Fraser - Albertine video

2008-03-12T16:16:00.003-07:00

A video that reminds us of what's honestly important... listen to the lyrics

3/12/08 12:54 a.m.

2008-03-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

"A journalist hounded the French writer, Albert Camus, asking him to explain his work in detail. The author of The Plague refused: "I write, and others can make of it what they will."
But the journalist refused to give in. One afternoon, he managed to find him in a café in Paris.
"Critics say you never take on truly profound themes," said the journalist. "I ask you now: if you had to write a book about society, would you accept the challenge?"
"Of course," replied Camus. "The book would be one hundred pages long. Ninety-nine would be blank, since there is nothing to be said. At the bottom of the hundredth page, I'd write: "man's only duty is to love."

-Original post by Paolo Coelho on a book by Albert Camus

It's almost 1 a.m.
The bewitching hour. Some might say that's midnight, but for me inspiration comes at one. Sometimes I think lessons come at night or early morning, the times when God is really trying to speak to you and you're trying to just rest your body. Your soul doesn't rest though, and in my case, neither body nor soul get tired until around 2 a.m.

What could an existential intellect like Camus know of love, when dedicating himself to find a purpose to life's absurdity. I'm aware in the end, whether he believed in a life after death... he found loving as a final sort of good karma answer, but when we look at the way humans love I kind of wonder if he actual views this answer as suitable. The way we love, with passion, with persistence and in that awe of one another... can be beautiful. But, more beautiful is it when completed by the love of a greater divine to show us the right way to love.

I want to love unselfishly. I want to give of myself to people...truly loving them for who they are without asking for anything in return. Are we truly capable of this? Are we in our own skin, able to realize the definition of love unconditional...loving for the sake of it? I strive for it and fall short every time, I'm more than aware of my flaws. Nevertheless, if Camus was aware of man's duty and he didn't believe in a great architect... how do we know that we're meant to love one another...

It's this moral dilemma that allows me to believe in absolutely in moral absolutes. The idea of one right and one wrong... of a love that surpasses all other loves. Of persevering through hard moments... of trusting another enough to put your heart on the line in every kind of relationship, whether romantic, friendship and familial. In some instances these relationships break into deeper ground than other relationships... ties that bind a friendship and the bonds of family. In the end, we are social creatures, we are meant to love and be together. We do strongly reach like branches of trees to set down roots, but yearn for the days where we weren't all running all over the globe. I guess in the end...this is an ode to all of my dear one's in far away places. Friendships surpass distance, time and situations... I'm trying to hold on to that and grow.

The hard part is to put yourself on the line... and be honest.

*Blog posted on my blog and not in Facebook notes lol. I do need to Facebook detox a little.*
-CG

It's a month and a half later and I mantain this...

2007-11-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

Screw the real world...you have a lot more important things to do with your life. Don't let anyone convince you that you cannot follow your dreams...this above all things should be avoided at all costs my dear twenty-somethings, thirty-somethings....whatever. At all turns of life and all changes of life and all moments of twisting, icy, difficulty--get through and move on. He has a greater plan for your life.

Phil. 4:6-7

..."Now you just dig them in front. They have worries, they're counting the miles, they're thinking about where to sleep tonight, how much money for gas, the weather, how they'll get there---and all the time they'll get there anyway, you see. But they need to worry and betray time with urgencies false and otherwise, purely anxious and whiny, their souls won't really be at peace unless they can latch on to an established and proven worry and having once found it they assume facial expressions to fit and go with it, which is you see unhappiness, and all the time it all flies by them and hey know it and that too worries them to no end." ~ On the Road

As always, momentary random thoughts.
-Cristela

Light/ darkness= Not shadows...gray

2007-10-13T09:21:00.000-07:00

Light filters through blinds like a one streaming white blanket, I turn around, but I can't get around it, under it...I can see it through my closed eyelids, I can see it reflected on the wall. It's daylight...another day, another doller, another chance and living to the fullest of my ability. I don't really think much when I get up, but I'm been thinking that should change. If there are people in the world that wake up each morning in a daze because they've been given the possibility of living another full day of life, that first breath must be more fragrant then a field of flowers. They've made it, it doesn't matter the weather, the trees, all problems are forgotten...and life is renewed. They feel refreshed just because...because the day is here and they are in it. Why can't I feel like that when I wake up? Why do we choose to do everything we've ever wanted to do only after we find out we have a most limited time to do so. So...I'm going to paint, and I'm going to write...and I'm go to read...and learn and do everything so that once I am back on my feet this was a time that was more then precious--it was worthwhile.

And...I'm finally accepting his grace and taking this as character building, rather then punishment. Read the verse, whether u believe or not...the message is clear isn't it?

Sincerely yours- C

Hebrews 12

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."^[a]

7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level paths for your feet,"^[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Another purely selfish note...

2007-10-11T11:47:00.000-07:00

"There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple "I must," then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your while life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse." -Letter's to a Young Poet, Rilke

While sipping a large Dr. Pepper at a Wendy's in the middle of the affluent retiree neighborhood of Royal Palm Beach I realized something. But, before I can get to the lesson, I'm sure I need to start from the beginning or most reading (unless you know me well) will be utterly confused. A bit of background, I was at Wendy's to be cheered up, as my grandmother's solutions to happiness either include a strong interjection of how "it could be worse..." or food...and of course, nothing cheers you up better then a quarter pound of cholesterol swirling and coagulating in your veins....She meant well though.

We had just come from the doctor. My sports surgeon to be exact; a man, who about a month ago armed with only a microscope and some thread conquered my knee. In a hour and a half, he set me up for a three to six month recovery process: three or four holes in the knee cap, a gash on the right side and a dead man's ligament. It was a necessary surgery, but at the worst time...in preparing for life, I was set out to beginning my ceremonial "flying of the coop." I was ready, restless and as I recklessly attempted to jump the nest-God pressed pause. The man's got style, I give him that.
My hopes for this appointment were simple...I wanted to be off my crutches, off my medication and never see the doctor ever again. In my eyes, it was just enough to ask for I mean, for pete's sake it had been a month already. "It looks real good!, Hmmm, good, good!" super surgeon said as he wiggled my knee one way and then the other. In less than 15 minutes, the appointment I had waited two weeks for was over, and the dear doctor had no good news for me. His checklist was short: range of motion=good, quadriceps strength=good, Bending=good, No excruciating pain=good. Lack of social life=good, Did she pay?=good, good. He said "good" one more time for good measure before he made his exit. I don't know if my frustration was more from his lack of any solid answers or my lack of solid questions. Thoughts rushed through my head, as I was certain I'd be ready to go back to living, surely my youth gave me a secret healing serum that suddenly fixed my knee and gave it super strength...(yes, I've been watching too much television)
Nothing of the sort. Nothing, he told me offered any semblance of possibilities to start my life. Nothing, was going to change. I mentally willed myself not to do what I hated that everyone else did: throw a pity party and invite the whole world. I wanted to go home and lock myself in my room in dramatic Emo flair. I wanted to force my leg to function and force life to fast-forward to show me the end. And, I wanted it to be a happy one.
I'd prayed so much for answers recently, I'd realized there's only one:
"Cast your care on Him for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
In spite of the pain, in spite of being alone, in spite of everything certain and uncertain one thing remains the same...I'm still insured by the man upstairs. This is the only verse that came to mind as I sat looking out the same window in the Wendy's...this is the only truth I can actually reach out for at the moment. It's the only truth I can share right now...the testimony doesn't lie in the experience though, I've learned more about myself, painting, the guitar and life than I have at any other time. In a purely selfish form, I can't feel sorry for myself when life in itself is still a blessing, the fact that I will eventually regain full mobility is still a blessing.
And so, with each trial and tribulation...each day turned night, each physical therapy session and each month passed by without a job, without too many friends and surrounded by my thoughts, worries and fears...I rest in this one truth.

He's got me....You never feel as small as when you look around you, I mean really look around and realize how little our world is, how many people die each day, the pains of old age and the naiveté of youth. A mother picked up her young son and he was really making a fuss in the restaurant; I wondered how often I've appreciated my family for their care in every situation...they were the ones pulling back as I pressed on. And yet, when I got hurt they didn't push me out of the nest. A young couple kissed and held one another close as they ordered a meal, and as much as I am in no rush to rush into love...one day it will be right. The instant something makes you happy doesn't mean that will last...actually, truth be told....it's the sacrifice made of your own happiness for someone else that is the longest flavor of joy.
But, what I want satisfies momentarily, like a simple sugar or chinese food...you're usually hungry in a couple of hours for another quick fix of temporary satisfaction. Whether it be with people, activities, relief from pain...being mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually handicapped.
And my grandmother, finally walks in....after taking a lifetime in Publix and I hobble out on my crutches...staring down everyone who dares look my way and gawk at my dis-ability.

Bring them Home?

2007-08-13T09:03:00.000-07:00

IN MY OPINION
Toy soldiers serve in war against war
Posted on Sun, Aug. 12, 2007

By ANA MENENDEZ
amenendez@MiamiHerald.com
"You may have seen them somewhere around Miami -- tiny plastic toy soldiers enlisted in the war against the war.
''Bring them home!'' says the front of the tag wrapped around the soldier's leg. On the back, the numbers for Senators Bill Nelson and Mel Martinez.
The pacifist toy soldiers are popping up in supermarkets, drug stores and other public places. Call it the Dada protest: It's driven by the hope that war, that most destructive of pursuits, can be halted by a sly creative genius just this side of the absurd.
The campaign, brought here by the Unitarian Universalist Congregation -- http://www.uumia.org/ -- near South Miami, begins its third week today. Already, church members have distributed dozens of soldiers across the county.
Friday morning, I joined Judy Homer on a drop at Dadeland Mall.
NOT FOR THE TIMID
Stealth protesting is not for the shy. Even the most experienced agitator can find herself suddenly caught in a crisis of nerve when, for example, sitting in a parking garage with a paper bag full of mission-bound soldiers.
''I do get nervous, but I won't let it deter me,'' said Homer, 64. ``I like that it's a protest and that it's a peaceful one. I'm an old hippie.''
Within minutes, she was through the doors of Macy's and tucking a soldier between the athletic shoes at a Skechers display.
''We'll see if it's still there when we get back,'' she said, delighted.
Yes, it's legal -- the church checked with lawyers. And, no: no one has complained, though Homer promises to apologize to anyone who is offended.
With most Americans now firmly against the war in Iraq, though, the soldier drops, while they can be nerve-wracking, aren't likely to be dangerous. Homer's advice to the retiring: It gets easier.
One woman who overcame her shyness confided to her: ``I got a total rush!''
Homer headed out of Macy's and toward J.C. Penney. On the way, she propped a soldier on a marble tabletop and another on the counter at a smoothie cart.
The day before, 55 members of the Florida National Guard had returned home. Friday was the funeral for one soldier who didn't. And Homer, without being maudlin, was in a pensive mood: ``I just want this war to end.''
SIMPLE MESSAGE
So do a lot of people. Will the toy soldiers succeed where thousands of war protesters have failed? Staff at the Florida senators' office said they did not field an increase in calls. But the campaign has enormous appeal. It's an example of a tough issue sharpened by simplicity. It also suggests the power of new ways of thinking.
No, college students aren't protesting the way they did in the 1960s, but why can't this quiet way be just as noble? Computers, e-mail and inexpensive printing offer their own modern response to an increasingly mechanized war.
The stealth soldiers also bring something else to this depressing debate: serious whimsy. Years back, a beloved co-conspirator and I blanketed the streets with homemade stickers printed with poetry.
As Homer strolled Dadeland Mall, I got to thinking: What if someone were to buy a pack of toy soldiers? And what if someone were to attach to them, not rational appeals, but lines of verse? Say, perhaps, something from Li Po: So, men are scattered and smeared over the desert grass,/ And the generals have accomplished nothing.
It probably wouldn't end the war. Maybe no one would notice. But it'd be one quiet protest, one sliver of beauty against the enormity of sorrow and destruction.
It's absurd. Someone should do it."

Looking towards the future...

2007-07-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

I'm optimistic about going back because there's still so much to be done. It's basically all about education and awareness of all issues.

Ghana Blog: Day 5-...Accra is my home

2007-07-13T12:03:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

Well, it has become that and more. Accra is wonderous because it is just so alive, you wouldn't think you would find so many people out in about in one place whether at night or during the day, but this place is just constant movement. We had to switch hotels yesterday, but the upgrade was a good one. The internet is faster and allows me to keep my loved ones up to date on my situation here.

Our Vacation Bible school has become everything we felt it should be, from the first day we broke out the theme song to Son Treasure Island and decorated Beautiful Gate Center; orange, red and blue fish dance on the walls and we brought backgrounds of the ocean covered in seaweed to line the stone walls. The pink house where the majority of the 28 sleep is small to keep so many, so many sleep outside in the church/ an open gazebo type area...cold concrete floor, instruments in the front and older beige chairs that line the area for the congregation..it is also now the main location for our groups VBS. We've held a puppet show with a tickle crew, singing times and I've played more games in the past 3 days then I have since middle school.

They love soccer so you better believe that's going to be my grand finale. The kids are kind-hearted, sweet souls and some of them have lived on the street for most of their lives...for this reason among so many others do I cherish being here and serving them even if at the end of the night they have to go back out into the street.

There's a sort of tearing of the heart when you think that all some of these kids have is what the center can give them on a day to day basis..and yet they stay because they have protection, friends and some kind of shelter.

Resources are just not enough......so, we make do with what we can bring and the Lord provides more for these children than I think we ever could. Our days have been spent mostly inside...though we toured the city on Saturday and I saw the same. Same smiles, same kind eyes, same sympathetic spirit....it's a blessing and a true learning experience for me....plus pages and pages of notes. The heat is magnified with the smoke burning garbage in some of the communities surrounding the center, but if we hadn't walked around giving flyers I would have seen the beauty within the difficulty.

The little ones walking around selling goods, while balancing it on their head with ease and perfect poise. Dresses flowing, some dragging through the red clay as mothers walk speaking the local language..Twi truly only spoken in Ghana by a small million or so. Purples and reds color the dresses and a little head pops out of a pouch they tie along their back and smiles at me as I pass. These reflections, these memories are gifts....and I am treasuring every sight. Hope to continue posting tomorrow. Hope all is well, and your as blessed as I am through family and good friends. I've now prayed in 6 different languages..and they're forcing me to speak french lol.

love u guys
-Cristela

"Ghana By air."

2007-07-12T17:33:00.000-07:00

Poet Ghanian Poetry

More Poetry

"Let the dry savannah winds
grab you by the hair
and drag you
stumbling
through tough clumps
of cow-nibbled grass.

Did you see the children streak by
on bikes - two or sometimes three
on the same?
Did you see the striking garments
energised by night dances?

Now the green of the forest
will sweep you across the secret
passages of
Ashanti pride
into the rich red
depths of palm nut soup.

Did you see a woman drag her husband
home by the cuff - insulting him
all the way?
Did you hear the market traders
hurling prices down the street?

The lights of Accra
will confound you as you circle
dreamily round
haphazard
houses arranged to fit
sprouting family trees.

Did you hear the blaring
horns - sometimes angry,
sometimes friendly?
Did you see two lovers
heading for Labadi beach?

Follow them
lift the hem
of the sea

plunge...

you have reached
the centre
of the world."

My Life! Experience: Student reflects on trip to Ghana - Life!

2007-07-11T12:05:00.000-07:00

My Life! Experience: Student reflects on trip to Ghana - Life!

Vacation Bible School 3/13/07

2007-07-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

"...The children saw us coming from a mile away when we finally made our way from the Sama/ Crystal Palms Hotel to The Center. Truth be told, earlier thar day and even now as I write I felt a heaviness of heart that was and still feels unsettling. Yesterday monring, though it could easily be attributed to Malerone, my malaria medicine. Nevertheless, I'm also sure it could also be in a part a desire to discover this city, get to know the real Accra, find out what it's really made of. Recently, what's come to mind is more and more a desire to just go out and explore what this world has to offer and how I can help it...I hear kids laughing over the rigid wall. Traffic and horns sound off in a distant background and a comfortable breeze flows in, there's not a cloud in the sky.

My energy was on at yesterday's VBS, the Lord must have made a way because God knows I was tired. I played with almost 50 kids they say with two parachutes and a bucnh of balls to balance. I was on the brink of losing my voice but it was worth it. All they had to do was hold on to the colorful sheet and they were off...shaking and vibrating a stormy parachute that looked like it was about to fly away. With only a little insistence, did all the kids have a ball, and with a little discipline by one of the other members of my troops, we were finally able to get all the kids under control. Pardon the pun, but what a ball they had...

Past Journal entries...3/11/07

2007-07-10T21:39:00.000-07:00

Ghana

A land covered with dirt, red clay roads, rusted metal and a familiar breeze of smoke, Ghana is overwhelmingly sharp. It sharpens and as you breath in the smells of rice and curry, it sharpens your taste buds...as you drink the sweet tang of real pineapple juice, it sharpens your spirit as you enter into a community of strangers, you come out a friend. My first weekend in this, my first truely foreign country has been epitomized by different moments--some good and so many insignificant after tonight. They pale in comparison to truly doing what I'm meant to do when I'm here, make an impact--tell their story. The story of the Beautiful Gate Center, surrounded by a dustry front yeard filled with a parade of smiling face, and sweaty squinty eyes...smiling and laughing, laughing sweating, smiling. Through all this laughter you wouldn't know they were starving sometimes, you wouldn't even realize some of them aren't seen for long periods of time, swallowed up by the dark Ghanian streets."

To see more pictures and here a bit about the work my first half of my trip focused on VBS and the second as a Medical missions through Fulness Ministries Interntional.

The faces of Africa

2007-07-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

The images are beautiful...and so I think it does serve it's purpose

Elephant Bones

2007-07-08T18:45:00.000-07:00

Prayer for those in Ghana

(I wrote this as we attended their service)

"To come to the poorest of nations, the porest of continents and find the realest understanding
of the father, the fullest truest perspective, in true form of praise, in endless love, in constant
worship, in the most ideal definition of prayer without ceasing. That is this church, this
is Beautiful Gate Center at is best...The people of this continent know you better then we do."

Ghana: Day 2..A beginning

2007-07-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

This is going to be no where near the journal I'm keep of my travels. But it's definitely a taste..I've been in Accra, Ghana for almost two days now. Half of which were spent in a jet-lagged stupor I've been trying to knock myself out of....you know how it goes though. We're waking up at 7 a.m. which is actually 2 a.m. in the U.S. My body is not used to it. Arrived at our hotel, www.vitarahotel.com/global
is the website at 8 a.m. and continued. We've seen Accra, for what it really is.....villages of people and children, colors dresses, smells some good some not so much. The earth is a red clay thick and dusty and the marketplace is not a place you want to find yourself unless you can haggle a hard bargain. I feel like though it seems these people need so much I've never fet more faith and friendship, particularly from the church we're working with. They take care of 28 to 30 children, all from the street many handicapped and the majority with some of the biggest smiles I've ever seen. The love and affection these people have for strangers I just want to put in a box and hold onto....it's a strong dose of humility for our group who felt we brought them the world with a couple of boxes of toothpaste (8 suitcases full, but nonetheless). We're going to tour there neighborhood on foot tomorrow and hand out flyers...we're going to teach lessons about love, abstinence and faith..and I'm in charge of games. Excitement doesn't even sum how I feel....I'm joyous, covered in mosquito bites and affection for sweating. I'll be writing soon....I promise to keep in touch....just know I'm ok and taking a lot of pictures.

Blogger's of the World Unite

2007-07-06T12:19:00.000-07:00

It's been almost two months since I returned from Ghana, a land of beautiful people and a very severe and often sad history. I was only there for two weeks, from March 9th to the 24th but in the time wrote more then I have while abroad. In a way, I feel there was so much to reflect on as we worked with children and adults in church ministry, providing essentials we take for granted in the United States. I used the blog to keep in touch with friends and loved ones, but at the same time educate them on the true situation in the country and the continent.

For Ghanaian history, the BBC provides a lot of useful info. We went three days after the country's independence day, which this article gives quite a bit of background on. The people of the country have varying opinions on their leaders in power, whether they actual care about the people, where they actually serve the needs of the country. Ultimately though, it's useful to take into consideration all opinions. In my experience, I think it really is all relative when it comes to government--the city of Accra has such a wide variety of people and tribes. It really just depends on those that involve themselves. I met the chief of a tribe in the mountains and local children in uniforms. I met future world cup soccer champions, at the end of my time there it was the people that made the experience fruitful.

The reality of Ghana's independence

In his second and final piece, the BBC's reporter in Ghana, Kwaku Sakyi-Addo, looks at what happened to the ambitious dreams at Ghana's independence from Britain 50 years ago in the subsequent decades.

The vision of Kwame Nkrumah, Ghana's first president and the man who led the country to independence in 1957, was to make his country a beacon of success in Africa and power the movement towards African nationalism.

Nkrumah was ousted by a coup in 1966 and died in exile in 1972 - but his vision was known to all.

He had had the dream, but the reality was much harder - how to turn this former colonial country into a successful African nation.

Nkrumah's son, Gamal, says that the "euphoria of independence" soon wore off, and his father's message of pan-Africanism increasingly became overlooked.

"Countries became more jealous of national sovereignty," he adds.

"The main goal of the ruling cliques - many of which were military - was to preserve and concentrate power... the seeds of the problems we now associate with the continent - poverty, corruption, the breakdown of public services - were sown in those times."

Military revolt

The leaders of the 1966 military coup against Nkrumah, who had made the country a one-party state and declared himself a Life President, had hoped they could sort out the country's tottering economy.

But once Nkrumah was gone, Ghana's troubles continued to get worse.

There was hardly any electricity, failures all the time, no water. The situation was so volatile it was like lighting a match
Former Ghana president Jerry Rawlings

Eventually, in 1979, a military revolt of a dozen junior officers against their seniors, who they perceived as arrogant and corrupt, brought 32-year-old Jerry John Rawlings came to power.

Rawlings' newly-formed Armed Forces Revolutionary Council executed eight senior officers, including three former heads of state.

Neither a politician nor an intellectual - he was a flight lieutenant in the Ghana Air Force - Rawlings believed he knew what the country needed.

"In effect, 1979 was a reaction to the cumulative events that had been happening in the country," he says.

"There was hardly any electricity, failures all the time, no water. The situation was so volatile it was like lighting a match."

He says the executions were necessary.

"I'm taking responsibility for it all," he says.

"There was no alternative. We had to contain it within the military so it didn't spill into the civil front - if it had it would have been terrible.

"We had no choice but to sacrifice the most senior ones - the commanders."

Coups and violence

Despite Rawlings' acceptance of responsibility for these and subsequent executions, he has never been tried in a court.

And the current 1992 constitution - written during his time as head of state - also contains a clause which prevents anyone being charged for executions which took place under military regimes.

In 1979, Rawlings handed over power to the elected President Dr Hilla Limann - but by 1981 he was seizing it again in another coup.

He instigated what he called "participatory democracy" - a people's revolution - which would keep him in power for two decades.

And he also presided over periods of violence, human rights abuse and disappearances - over 200 people disappeared in the early 1980s, all suspected opponents of Rawlings' regime.

In 1982 there was another attempted coup, which, Rawlings claimed, was funded by Kwame Pianim, who was imprisoned for 10 years.

A country that Nkrumah had envisioned would lead Africa in optimism and change had descended into coups and violence.

"There were times when I openly shed tears for the suffering of my own people," says Charles Palmer-Buckle, the Catholic Archbishop of Accra who sat on Ghana's Truth and Reconciliation Commission for two years.

"It was eye-opening, because I never believed that certain types of atrocities did take place in this country."

When he became the country's first president, Kwame Nkrumah had attempted to keep a lid on Ghana's divisions by minimising them. Being African, he said, was not about being tribal.

But his focus on the "total liberation of Africa" meant he sometimes ignored problems at home.

The economy in particular suffered as Nkrumah failed to look beyond timber to keep it in health.

And when Rawlings was in charge, the economy hit rock bottom. The period is called the "Rawlings necklace" after the way starved Ghanaians' collarbones became visible.

'Dreams of people'

To this day, Ghana's economy still limps along, and a third of our people live on less than a dollar a day.

We were once rich in timber, diamonds and gold and the world's top exporter of cocoa. Not today.

"Cocoa is seasonal so we have long periods of poverty," says cocoa farmer William Korampong.

"After paying my debts there is no money to send the children to school or pay for food. Get the government to process cocoa here and not abroad - then there would be more money in our pockets."

Fifty years after independence, it is now that Ghanaian - and African - renewal must begin.

Ghana's head of state in this jubilee year is John Kufuor - generally considered a stable force.

He says Ghana has not achieved the dreams of 1957.

"Perhaps it is an endless journey to pursue the dreams of people," he explains.

"The objective with which we entered independence was to become viable and prosperous.

"But since independence we've had a chequered history... it has taken us a while to come back to the original aspirations.

"We have moved along the track a small way but we have a long way to go."

And his words are echoed by Nkrumah's son Gamal, who says that it is not only Ghana's battle that continues, but Africa's.

"Pan-Africanism never took off as such, but that does not mean it is too late for it to take off," he says.

"Because part of Kwame Nkrumah's popularity today is his call for pan-Africanism, people instinctively know it is the only way forward for the continent."

Part Two of Ghana, Winds Of Change is broadcast on BBC World Service on Monday 5 March at 0930 GMT.

Ways to Listen WINDS OF CHANGE - PART ONE

The Architect of Independence